pcl_0534_331_13_26

Puddleby Court Log: 61 Autumn, year 534 of The Ascendancy. 13:26

In the matter of Adam v Ther' Anger, accused of “trying to sue Gaia”

Before the jurors: PyroManiac, Papa, Mug, Darkdah, Koric, Muad'Dib, Kodo, Soulmaster, Lilit, Pachook

With Bellafae serving as Bailiff.
To all who read these precepts, the following transcript of this trial is true and correct, to the best of my knowledge.
Clera, reporting.

[Bellafae] This court is now in session, The Honourable Judge Haengemie presiding.
[Haengemie] <standard pre-trial court briefing>
[Adam] Ther'Anger tried to sue Gaia, and then cursed her when he found out he couldn't
[Adam] without further ado, I call Gaia as my witness
[Haengemie] Gaia isn't in the courtroom. Your witness must be present to be called.
[Adam] Witness: Gaia
[Adam] Witness:Gaia
[Adam] hmm
[Adam] well if she was here she would agree with me
[Adam] Cid was Ther'Angers accomplice
[Adam] so don't take his word for jack shit
[Adam] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Adam
[Adam] for now
[Haengemie] Ther' Anger, you have 90 seconds to speak.
[Ther' Anger] I would like to get one thing clear: I run things around here. Adam is also known as atomical, as known as the local bitch.
[Ther' Anger] Adam is such a whore that he has to pay for the sheets at the Tor Inn
[Ther' Anger] he wears them otu so often
[Ther' Anger] all that friction
[Ther' Anger] have that picture in your mind?
[Ther' Anger] now that you do throw ito ut
[Ther' Anger] because adam is a useless selfsodomizing halfling
[Ther' Anger] witness: cid
[Haengemie] Thank you, Ther' Anger
[Haengemie] Cid, please approach the witness railing, to the Northeast of the jury box. You have 15 seconds.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Cid. You have been called to testify in this matter, please state the pertinant facts to the jury.
[Haengemie] Cid, you have 90 seconds to speak.
[Cid] Well, Adam says, 'Dont Take Cid's Word ... It's Jack Shit'...
[Cid] ...Well then again, isn't all court cases based on evidence?
[Cid] and also based on what people say?
[Cid] Which reminds me...
[Cid] This court should be run by a greater force!
[Cid] I mean, if I sue Algy for 'being an Idiot Savant' it'd be so frivolous it shouldnt even be in court
[Cid] That's why I say the powers above do the 'approve' on the matter...
[Cid] You know
[Cid] Also, Gaia has been shunning her worshippers
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining, Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Cid] She doesnt CARE for you.
[Cid] When was the last time you got to talk with Gaia?
[Cid] NEVER! She doesn't love you.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Cid
[Cid] That's why we all claim maia as god
[Haengemie] Adam, you have 120 seconds to speak.
[Adam] Speech Speech Speech...(Whos side was Cid on anyway?)
[Adam] and about that Fiction, Ther
[Adam] It was just like you said
[Adam] Fiction
[Adam] Tor is a mere inn
[Adam] don't disgrace the name with your cheap whore tricks
[Adam] GO Jurrrry
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining, Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Adam] You just received bad karma from Lilit for deliberately wasting our time.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Adam
[Adam] Lilit ya bastard
[Haengemie] Ther' Anger, you have 120 seconds to speak.
[Ther' Anger] he calls my words cheap whore tricks, this only shows his desensitation. His idea of hardcore whore tricks would make you SHUDDER in pain
[Ther' Anger] Adam is nothing but a part of a 1 man S&M sex team
[Ther' Anger] adam rightn ow is playing the sadist seeking pain, but he is inexerpeinced and should spend more time entertaining sailors
[Ther' Anger] adam rightn ow is playing the sadist seeking pain, but he is inexeperinced and should spend more time entertaining sailors
[Ther' Anger] We all know who runs things, me
[Ther' Anger] so why bother voting frivilous
[Ther' Anger] just vote innocent
[Ther' Anger] you have my approval
[Ther' Anger] now a word from my sponser
[Ther' Anger] witness: cid
[Haengemie] Thank you, Ther' Anger
[Haengemie] Cid, please approach the witness railing, to the Northeast of the jury box. You have 15 seconds.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Cid. You have been called to testify in this matter, please state the pertinant facts to the jury.
[Haengemie] Cid, you have 120 seconds to speak.
[Cid] Okay. Here I am. This whole case reminds me of soemthing Ther' once told me...
[Cid] 'Don't throw stones in glass houses, Cid, you idiot'.
[Cid] Which reminds me, I was in the greymyr village once...
[Cid] And I was dead as heck, heck a roo dead...
[Cid] and I says out loud...
[Cid] 'Help me!'
[Cid] And then I says somethign about Chum's signigant other bieng unfaithful..
[Cid] ....and you know what happens? I get cursed! Which reminds me...
[Cid] I was walking down the street one day when Kahn says, 'Darn you Cid, get the hell in jail'.
[Cid] And I say to myself, 'What did I do to deserve this besides talk about Chum's mama?'
[Cid] Which reminds me of my mama, Joy. She swears a LOT.
[Cid] And you know who also swears a lot? Fuzz.
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining, Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Cid] And you know what, they'v enever been taking to court for swearing.
[Cid] So, to sum it all up, buy more lettuce!!!
[Haengemie] Thank you, Cid
[Cid] BY KUDZU FROM CID FOR HIGH PRICES UNFAIRLY!
[Haengemie] <standard jury verdict briefing>
[Bellafae] Bellafae hands Haengemie the jury's verdict.

[Haengemie] Adam this court has found your case frivolous.
[Haengemie] <standard jury sentence briefing>
[Haengemie] And, because I find the friviolity of this case to be contemptuous,...
[Haengemie] I'm going to double the maximum penalty (240 min/2000 c)
[Haengemie] I suggest that the jury recommend a stiff sentence.
[Haengemie] Jurors, you should take Adam's record into account when deciding what sentence to recommend.
[Bellafae] Bellafae hands Haengemie the jury's sentencing recommendation.

[Haengemie] Because of outstanding fines still owed from previous convictions...
[Haengemie] I'm going add 198 minutes to the sentence.
[Haengemie] Adam, you are hereby sentenced to spend 295 minutes in the Puddleby jail,
[Haengemie] and fined 950 coins.
[Haengemie] As you cannot afford to pay your fine, the clerk calculates the balance (937c) as additional jail-time of 119 minutes.
[Haengemie] Also, Clera will help you arrange a payment plan.
[Haengemie] In addition, Adam, I'm going to banish you from the city limits for 9 days.
[Haengemie] After you've served your jail-sentence, I suggest you sneak out of town quietly, and don't let the guards catch you.
[Haengemie] Judge Haengemie bangs his gavel
[Haengemie] This court is adjourned.

Court adjourned at 14:56 on 61 Autumn, 534