pcl_0538_357_05_43

Puddleby Court Log: 87 Autumn, year 538 of The Ascendancy. 05:43

In the matter of Malkor v Outcast, accused of “being a mean ol' bastard”

Before the jurors: Kevin, Astor, PyroManiac

The Honourable Judge Haengemie, presiding.
With Bellafae serving as Bailiff.

To all who read these precepts, the following transcript of this trial is true and correct, to the best of my knowledge.
Clera, reporting.

[Haengemie] <standard pre-trial court briefing>
[Malkor] Outcast is a meaniehead.
[Bellafae] Any obvious bribes to witnesses must be shared.
[Malkor] He hurt my feelings and called me a "sucky Mystic"
[Malkor] Um..
[Malkor] witness: Marfisa
[Haengemie] Thank you, Malkor
[Haengemie] Marfisa, please approach the witness railing, to the Northeast of the jury box. You have 15 seconds.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Marfisa. You have been called to testify in this matter, please state the pertinent facts to the jury.
[Haengemie] Marfisa, you have 90 seconds to speak, unless the jury deems your testimony irrelevant.
[Marfisa] I
[Bellafae] And no spanking!
[Marfisa] I have personally seen Outcast beat small children, insult mystics, and have sex with orgas.
[Marfisa] I happen to know firsthand that he is the meanest, most depraved, most unhygenic son of a megamouth that lives.
[Marfisa] He cheats on his taxes as well!
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining, Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Marfisa] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Marfisa
[Haengemie] Outcast, you have 90 seconds to speak, unless the jury deems your testimony irrelevant.
[Outcast] Malkor is a whiny Mystic!
[Outcast] I recommend daily slappings!
[Outcast] witness: Math
[Haengemie] Thank you, Outcast
[Haengemie] Math, please approach the witness railing, to the Northeast of the jury box. You have 15 seconds.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Math. You have been called to testify in this matter, please state the pertinent facts to the jury.
[Haengemie] Math, you have 90 seconds to speak, unless the jury deems your testimony irrelevant.
[Math] I happen to know that Outcast is a very nice fellow
[Math] I happen to know that Outcast is a very nice fellow
[Math] He is nice to everyone, especially young halfling females
[Math] Furthermore, I happen to know that Malkor is, indeed, a sucky mystic.
[Math] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Math
[Haengemie] Malkor, you have 120 seconds to speak, unless the jury deems your testimony irrelevant.
[Malkor] witness: Malkor
[Malkor] witness: Malkor
[Malkor] witness: Malkor
[Haengemie] Thank you, Malkor
[Malkor] witness: Malkor
[Haengemie] Malkor, please approach the witness railing, to the Northeast of the jury box. You have 15 seconds.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Malkor. You have been called to testify in this matter, please state the pertinent facts to the jury.
[Haengemie] Malkor, you have 120 seconds to speak, unless the jury deems your testimony irrelevant.
[Malkor] Did you see that?!
[Bellafae] Something's scwewwy awound here.
[Malkor] Outcast just killed me!
[Malkor] He's a big ol' thoom jerkoff
[Malkor] Banish him!
[Malkor] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Malkor
[Haengemie] Outcast, you have 120 seconds to speak, unless the jury deems your testimony irrelevant.
[Outcast] How can he testify on his own behalf!
[Outcast] He has nothing better to do than to sneak around figuring things out about court!
[Outcast] Destory him!
[Outcast] PENIS DEVIL POWER!
[Outcast] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Outcast
[Haengemie] <standard jury verdict briefing>
[Bellafae] Bellafae hands Haengemie the jury's verdict.

[Haengemie] Outcast this court finds you guilty, as accused.
[Haengemie] <standard jury sentence briefing>
[Haengemie] Jurors, you should take Outcast's record into account when deciding what sentence to recommend.
[Bellafae] Bellafae hands Haengemie the jury's sentencing recommendation.

[Haengemie] Outcast, you are hereby sentenced to spend 45 minutes in the Puddleby jail,
[Haengemie] and fined 300 coins.
[Haengemie] Judge Haengemie bangs his gavel
[Haengemie] This court is adjourned.

Court adjourned at 6:22 on 87 Autumn, 538