pcl_0577_164_12_20

Puddleby Court Log: 74 Spring, year 577 of The Ascendancy. 12:20

In the matter of Haze v Shadrock, accused of “existing”

Before the jurors: Leinis, Daimoth, Theo, Desdemona, Super Chicken.

The Honourable Judge Haengemie, presiding.
With Bellafae serving as Bailiff.
To all who read these precepts, the following transcript of this trial is true and correct, to the best of my knowledge.
Clera, reporting.

[Bellafae] This court is now in session, The Honourable Judge Haengemie presiding.
[Haengemie] <standard pre-trial court briefing>
[Haze] Thank you, your honor.
[Haze] In this case I would like to prove that Shadrock does indeed exist.
[Haze] But what are my eyes?
[Haze] I call to the stand Mehan.
[Haze] witness: Mehan
[Haengemie] Thank you, Haze.
[Haengemie] Mehan, please approach the witness railing, to the Northeast of the jury box. You have 15 seconds.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Mehan. You have been called to testify in this matter, please state the pertinent facts to the jury.
[Haengemie] Mehan, you have 90 seconds to speak.
[Mehan] So they let me lead
[Mehan] So they let me lead
[Mehan] And I lead and it was GREAT
[Mehan] And then I used a red healing salve to raise Shadrock.
[Mehan] And then he couldn't train.
[Mehan] The end.
[Mehan] PS: I rock
[Mehan] Uh
[Mehan] Hi mom
[Mehan] Oh he exists.
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining, Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Mehan] I rock
[Haengemie] Thank you, Mehan.
[Haengemie] Shadrock, you have 90 seconds to speak.
[Shadrock] So, hey all. I'm not really sure why I'm being sued..
[Shadrock] Anyway, I feel that I am being discriminated against because I am a untrained!
[Shadrock] Anyway, I feel that I am being discriminated against because I am a untrainer!
[Shadrock] Anyway, I feel that I am being discriminated against because I am an untrainer!
[Shadrock] Yes, I like to be me!
[Shadrock] Let me abuse myself legally!
[Shadrock] witness: Geotzou
[Haengemie] Thank you, Shadrock.
[Haengemie] Geotzou, please approach the witness railing, to the Northeast of the jury box. You have 15 seconds.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Geotzou. You have been called to testify in this matter, please state the pertinent facts to the jury.
[Haengemie] Geotzou, you have 90 seconds to speak.
[Geotzou] FIOrst of all, we were in wetlands.. and I saw Shadrock...
[Geotzou] and sure enough he was existing, I could touch him.
[Geotzou] then we followed our enlightened leader, Mehan...
[Geotzou] and after getting lost a couple times to "explore"...
[Geotzou] we entered Hatred Hollow
[Geotzou] and guess what..
[Geotzou] Shadrock was not there!
[Geotzou] so i actually have doubts
[Geotzou] maybe he does NOT exist after all!
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining, Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Geotzou] so it is all in the hands of the hury now.
[Geotzou] he does and does not exist.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Geotzou.
[Geotzou] he is a schrodinger cat.
[Haengemie] Haze, you have 120 seconds to speak.
[Haze] Shadrock has been accused of existing.
[Haze] This complete fucking idiot, Shadrock.
[Haze] But do complete fucking idiots exist? I intend to prove that yes, yes they do.
[Haze] Let the record show that in Mehan's testimony, she mentioned using a red healing salve to raise this festering piece of Sylvan garbarge.
[Haze] Geotzu's testimony also brings his existence to light.
[Haze] And Shadrock, in his pathetic defense,
[Haengemie] 10 seconds remaining, Please finish up, or say "done"...
[Haze] This stupid, sub-human fucking mornon.
[Haze] Even admitted it himself.
[Haze] I rest my case.
[Haengemie] Thank you, Haze.
[Haengemie] Shadrock, you have 120 seconds to speak.
[Shadrock] whoops
[Shadrock] sorry.
[Shadrock] Anyway.
[Shadrock] I do not exist in a bad way.
[Shadrock] I am awesome.
[Shadrock] Totally totally awesome.
[Shadrock] And Haze is jealous, because he will never rival my awesomeness.
[Shadrock] The end!
[Shadrock] I have blue pants!
[Shadrock] I am blue everywhere, I ROCK
[Shadrock] done
[Haengemie] Thank you, Shadrock.
[Haengemie] <standard jury verdict briefing>
[Bellafae] Bellafae hands Haengemie the jury's verdict.

[Haengemie] Shadrock, this court finds you innocent. You are free to go.
[Haengemie] Shadrock, you are free to go.
[Haengemie] Judge Haengemie bangs his gavel
[Haengemie] This court is adjourned.