Valve may just make first-person shooters (Half-Life), which are not my favorite genre, but they do it so well.

Left 4 Dead is a zombie game.  Four heavily-armed survivors have to make their way out of a city infested with zombie hordes.

The best way to play is with four friends on the net.  The game is designed so that a player alone is very soon a player dead — you constantly need friends to rescue you and cover your back.

The zombies are fast — more like 28 Days Later than Night of the Living Dead.  And there are special zombies to keep things interesting.  The pacing is excellent, and the music feels like a soundtrack, and adds to the game.  It’s rare that I don’t turn the music off first thing.

And it’s fun to play over and over.  Just because you’ve done a level a dozen times doesn’t make it predictable the 13th time.

If I had to nitpick, I’d say the single player game is less fun than multiplayer — but the single player game is still awfully fun.  And I wish I could play on a Mac.

If anybody wants to friend me on Steam, I’m Joedelta, as usual.

Mary and the girls were off visiting relatives last week.  I meant to spend the boring lonely days doing taxes, but instead I fought a pesky PC virus for a couple of days (better now), and read a couple of books, and played computer games.  Whee!

Not that different from my normal weeks, really, except a lot more solitary.  And the food wasn’t as good.

Anyway, the game I played most was Prototype, which was reasonably fun.  It’s basically Grand Theft Auto, except there’s very little driving, and your character is an insanely powerful genetically engineered murderous freak bent on exacting bloody revenge for the viral zombie plague destroying Manhattan.

The main thing I found interesting about this game was how marvelously powerful your character is right from the beginning.  Want to run up the side of the Empire State building, then leap down, crashing full-speed into a tank?  No problem for you, and it annoys the tank greatly.

The storyline is interesting, and one gets to make lots of choices about how to gain new powers, and the control is for the most part fluid and fun.  (My PC tended to bogg when fighting in the Hive.)  It’s a bit gory, and the things you do are morally repugnant, but, like in Grand Theft Auto, eventually you stop thinking of the civilians as people when you accidentally mow down a couple dozen.

And it’s kind of satisfying to leap onto a flying helicopter, tear the door off, and skyjack it.  Then you can fly to ridiculous heights, leap out of the chopper, and create incredible destruction on your collision with the ground.

Not bad.

Buttermilk may not be especially delicious to drink, but buttermilk with chocolate syrup in it is way worse.

Now how do I get the taste out of my mouth?

So Lyra Meadow’s iMac G4/800 (from maybe 2002?) wouldn’t boot, after years of reliable (if sluggish) performance.

I wanted to reinstall the OS, but the CD drive hasn’t worked in years.  (Who needs ‘em?)

Back in the pre-OS X days, I could have just copied a fresh system folder onto the hard drive and been done with it.  Alas, with the unix core, that doesn’t work any more.

The iMac wouldn’t boot from an external USB hard drive.  Ah, but it will boot from an external firewire drive.  Alas, I don’t seem to have one of those at the moment.

But my friend Howard, as it turns out, had dropped one off recently with some files on it for the girls.  Sweet!  I backed up the data on that drive, wiped it, and restored the OS 10.5 DVD onto it.

I’d probably have preferred 10.4, but I couldn’t find a DVD, and making the firewire drive pretend to be 4 CD drives sounded problematic.

I booted the iMac from the firewire drive, started the install process — but oh no! It didn’t meet the minimum system requirements.  While the documentation I had said that a G4/800 was the minimum, it seems that at the last minute Apple raised the requirements to G4/867.  Poo!

I thought about putting the Mac into firewire drive mode and installing it on a different Mac, but I don’t seem to have any running PPC Macs around, and I bet it would install wrong if it thought it was going onto an Intel Mac.

Some research on the net found a way to spoof the open firmware into reporting the Mac as faster than it really is.  And with the Mac thinking it’s fast, the Installer decided it was OK to install.  (Why does it take 2 hours to install the OS nowadays?  Ick.)

Oh, poo.  I just realized I’m going to lose Classic on her Mac.  Hmmm.  Maybe I’ll install SheepShaver.

So OS X 10.5 is now running fine on her Mac, but it’s awfully slow.  How is it that every OS is claimed to be faster than the previous one, but experience tells us the opposite?

I was chatting with my friend Erin, babbling about my theory that Avocados shouldn’t be considered a green vegetable because they’re just too delicious and fatty.

Erin said, “Yeah, I’ve always thought of avocados as ‘mayonnaise fruit.’”

As a game publisher, several times a year I get amateur game ideas. Ideas, as it turns out, are worth nothing.  Implementation is everything.  Nevertheless, some people’s ideas are so great that they don’t want to share them, lest they be stolen.
Here’s a letter I received this morning, verbatim.  (Bullets in the original.)

Dear Sir or Madam;

I am a University at Buffalo student. I have developed and Copyrighted with the United States Copyright Office, a totally unique, novel, brilliant video game. Moreover, I have conducted demographic research and found that Caucasians, Blacks, Hispanics, Orientals all of various cultural persuasions have keen interest in playing this game. People from yuppie to yippie, hippie and thug, gangster, millionaire, trailer park resident, motorcycle biker, cowboy, middle of the road and any road have stated that although they would never do the things of my game in real life (at least for fear of fines or jail time) they would enjoy doing the deeds do-able in my game. My game offers a virtual reality/video game sublimation for sports/activities that mankind has enjoyed for millennium, but are now legally prohibited from doing. Human identification with the toughness and outrageous attitude that my game connotes endures, and in specialty magazines we find that the majority of advertisements are for …(I will not name them in this introductory letter) .. the “implements” which my game caters to. These “implements” sit idle in millions upon millions of American homes, idle from the tasks they were originally meant for. Several PhDs have strongly encouraged me to pursue Copyright, publication and marketing of my game! I am so excited!

Truly I am shocked that a game such as mine has not hit the market sooner. I guess the world was waiting for me.

As I said, the United States Copyright Office has granted me exclusive Copyright on this game. I cannot just tell you the nature of my game here in this introductory letter, even though I am itching to bring this game into stores and specialty magazines. Respond to me and we can arrange a meeting with my lawyer and make negotiations. I have been warned by other game developers that often big companies require game developers to waive rights even if the company rejects them but goes on to develop a similar game. I do not wish to waive my rights to this brain child. Together we could make $million$. Very probably, your company would make the lions’ share of profits.

I seek a well constructed product in digital or/and analogue data bit processing; I seek a colorful, crisp game that will bring hours of enjoyment to people, like myself, interested in this prohibited activity. I have consulted anthropological forensics, research specialists and others. I have expanded the applications of the game in unique ways to bring the home player into a vivid, diverse background of play activities. I have included applications which bring the home player into the development of characters and “implements”. I have several different scoring options. Players may play against the computer, against other players on the same unit in close proximity and against players across the internet.

For the love of money and historical preservation, get in contact with me and let’s make a fortune!

This letter made me pretty happy.  From the test demographics with “Orientals” to the vague promise of virtual activities that “we’re legally prohibited from doing,” this letter is gold.  All I have to do is get in touch with his lawyer and negotiate a contract so I can discover what this great idea is, and we can make “$million$.”

Oh, boy.  My “implements” are sitting idle.

Gay marriage opponents say that gay marriage would hurt the economy by creating new beneficiary spouses, presumably getting unfair health insurance.

It’s hard for me to get excited about stopping anybody from getting health insurance.

Supporters say that if gay marriage were legalized, it would add $16 billion to the economy by increasing the demand for cakes and invitations.

If everybody went out and bashed in their windshield with a sledgehammer, it would add $60 billion to the economy.  Hooray.

I’m all for gay marriage (or, alternately, for treating straight marriage as a civil union in the eyes of the government), but it’s really not an economics issue.

Mary’s cooking show has the second episode done.  She’ll show you how to make creme brulee.

Yesterday morning my iPhone started acting funny, vibrating at random intervals, and generally acting like the mute switch was being flipped on and off.  I did a software restore, but that didn’t help.  So I made an appointment at the Apple store for today — surely it’s still under warranty, right?

So I tolerated the vibrating all day, and took it to the appointment, with it vibrating in my pocket the whole way.  But when I got there, the damn thing acted perfectly.

Don’t you hate that?  Makes me feel like a user.

I was feeling the urge to conspicuously consume for some reason, so I was browsing new digital cameras.  Now, my current camera (a Canon A570 IS) works fine, and cost less than $100 a couple of years ago, but a fancier newer camera never hurts, right?  Surely I can find somebody to hand-me-down my old one.

So after a little browsing, the Canon SX10 IS caught my eye.  Much less portable than my current camera (which fits in my pocket uncomfortably, but fits), but the 20x zoom is pretty compelling, and I’ve had an urge for the hot shoe (for external flash), too.  And look, only $200 from some retailer I’ve never heard of, but which had a five star rating from the price comparison site EveryPrice.com.  And they have it in stock. Great!  In a wave of impulse buying, I ordered it.

I already knew that a more typical street price for this camera is $350-$400, but finding low prices on the internet is no surprise to me.  I keep my eyes open for bargains, and I feel like I regularly get cool stuff ridiculously cheap.

A few hours later, I got a call from the friendly camera place to confirm my order.  No problem.  They also wanted to know if I wanted any accessories, like a camera bag, extra battery park, or a bigger memory card.  No thanks, I said dismissively.  This camera just uses AA batteries, which I have in abundance, and I have a spare 32 GB SDHC card laying around just dying to go in a fancy new camera, so I knew I was already prepared.

“No, really,” said the salesman.  “This camera’s battery pack will give out after only 12 pictures.  And with no memory card, the camera is basically useless.”  For the first time, my suspicions were raise, but I played along.  How much for the battery pack and memory? “We have a special today.  The Extended Life battery package is only $99, and I can get you a 2GB SD for only $109.”  Wow, the $200 they wanted to charge me for maybe $20 (at most) worth of parts didn’t seem like a very good deal for a place with great prices on everything else.

“No, really, I’m good.  Just the camera, please.”  He gave me a couple more rounds of hard sell on the unnecessary crap, but eventually he had to admit that I didn’t need the other stuff.

But wait, “Oh, it looks like we’re out of stock on that camera, so I’ll put it on backorder for you.  It should be in stock in a day or two.”

I wasn’t really in a rush, but I wanted to test a theory.  “Hey, I’m kind of in a hurry.  Can you get it to me faster if I order the package with the memory and battery?”

He paused.  I could hear his brain balancing saying something stupid against possibly making a sale.  Sale won.  “Um, yeah — we do have a package unit right here!  Want me to get that out today?”

No.  So I had them backorder it, but then I Googled this company (Stop and Shop Digital) to check their reputation, and it turns out their business model is to list an unrealistically low price on price search engines, then upsell customers overpriced add-ons.  If the customers don’t bite, they place the product on backorder, where it remains forever, though apparently every time you call they claim it will ship soon.

It won’t.

On the plus side, they never attempted to bill my credit card or anything.  I guess they just hope a certain percentage of customers are stupid, which seems like a good bet, in general. It must be sad to have a job that involves lying and cheating people.

I don’t need a new camera, anyway.